Hi, I’m Patty Blinderman. I’d like to tell you about myself.

My ADHD journey has been fun, scary, uncomfortable, and instructive – sometimes all at the same time! At one point I was a struggling mother of four who felt lost in an incomprehensible wilderness. Over the years I learned what steps to take and cleared my own unique path so that I could better support myself and my children. I then paved that path so others who follow can use it, too! 

I always wanted to be a mom. When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answers always included “being a mom.” When I finally became a mom, everything was so hard. It felt unfair that I might not be good at what I had so longed for. 

When I was most lost and struggling, I could not see my way forward. It turns out the path I sought didn’t yet exist.

I did everything I knew to do, but nothing worked. I remember the precise moment when I realized that all my strengths, knowledge, and abilities weren’t enough. I simply could not see any way forward.

That moment occurred on a day like many others when one of my four kids was testing my limits. 

At that time in my life, I prided myself on my ability to hold boundaries. For reasons I couldn’t understand, it felt like my boundary enforcement was causing more harm than good for one of my children. It was not supporting them to learn and grow. What I knew worked for my other three children didn’t work for this one, and worse, I didn’t know why or what to do differently. We often ended up in screaming duels with both of us feeling worse than before.

It became apparent that I didn’t have the tools I needed to support them. I felt completely inadequate. To put it simply, I felt like a failure as a mom. 

I remember going to my bedroom and closing the door before going into my small closet (my go-to place when I needed privacy from my kids). I literally sat on the closet floor and cried in defeat and admitted out loud, “I am not enough.” 

I sat there picturing my failure in many ways, but one of the most uncomfortable was imagining people in my life judging me and my children – from my parents and siblings to neighbors and my children’s teachers. As I write this, I can still feel the emptiness of that moment. The hopelessness. I had no idea how to move forward. Without a plan or the necessary tools, I was stuck. I didn’t  have a path to follow. It was one of the lowest points of my life.

What I didn’t understand at the time was that my child and I had ADHD. Even after we received our individual diagnoses, I still didn’t understand what to do with that information.

My ADHD and the ADHD I observed in my child (and soon in my other three children as well) looked very different from what I had learned about ADHD in college and during my years as a special education teacher. Each of the five of us had different strengths and executive functioning challenges. Not one of us was “bouncing off the walls” or constantly in motion – the stereotypical characteristics of ADHD popular at that time. 

It wasn’t long after I came out of my bedroom closet that I had the realization I needed help. It wasn’t possible for me to know everything I needed to know and do to support my children. I was able to acknowledge that it was unrealistic to expect myself to learn everything I would need to know and to do everything myself. Though I knew I needed help, I had no idea how much help I would need, or how hard it would be to find.

From doctors and therapists to coaches and other specialists, the journey was long and riddled with successes and failures. I learned at each turn and documented what worked –  and what didn’t. My path become clearer as we reached each new milestone.

My journey continues to this day. I like to remind my child who struggled the most with their ADHD about all the gifts they have given me. I now have a deeper well of patience to draw from. I am able to observe a child melting down in public without judging the child or the parent. Instead I have compassion for what each of them is experiencing in that moment. These are just a couple of the tools I have added to my toolbox that would not have been possible without my child. 

Additionally, if I hadn’t been so motivated to find ways to help my kids, I would never have the career I have today. Since 2010 I have completed multiple ADHD-specific coach training programs, earned professional certifications from both ICF and PAAC, trained and mentored other ADHD coaches, created courses, started a podcast, spoken at conferences, and worked with hundreds of clients individually, in groups, and most recently through my ADHD-Friendly membership platform. 

My journey has helped me understand that my greatest desire is to find ways to tilt the playing field in favor of individuals impacted by ADHD or executive function skills challenges. The world is not organized in a way that naturally supports ADHD brains, but with ADHD-friendly approaches, we can each pave our own unique path and thrive with ADHD!

Join ADHD-Friendly, to access live and recorded offerings that meet every day ADHD challenges with ADHD-friendly solutions.