Without the ADHD Mistakes Shame Spiral
The goal isn’t perfection. It’s learning how to reset faster
Resetting after an ADHD mistake isn’t easy for me. Recently I had one of those very ADHD moments. Not a big crisis, just a completely avoidable inconvenience.
I had my annual physical scheduled for noon. Because they needed to do lab work, I was supposed to fast beforehand. The problem? I already know something important about myself: not eating until noon is really hard for me. If I go too long without eating, I get hunger headaches, my energy drops, and my brain slows down. At one point I even thought, I should probably make sure the lab orders are sent in advance so I can go earlier. But I didn’t follow through on that thought. Instead, I took a chance and assumed it would work out.
When the Plan Fell Apart
The morning of the appointment, I called the lab to confirm I could come in early. They told me the lab orders weren’t there. The doctor hadn’t sent them yet… and the doctor wouldn’t arrive until the exact time of my appointment.
There was nothing they could do. By that point I was already hungry and low energy, so I ate. But that meant I couldn’t do the lab work that day.
Now I’ll need to:
- Go back another morning
- Fast again
- Make another trip
- Rearrange my schedule
It was a completely avoidable inconvenience.
The ADHD Mistake Shame Spiral
My brain immediately jumped in:
- “Why didn’t you just call ahead?”
- “Now you made this harder for yourself.”
But beating myself up didn’t fix anything. It didn’t make the lab orders appear. It just made me feel worse. Realizing I was starting to spiral, I asked a different question: What would help my brain reset right now?
Hit the Reset Button!
Why ADHD Mistakes Happen
ADHD affects executive functions like planning, follow-through, and working memory. That means even when we know the best step to take, our brains don’t always follow through in the moment. Understanding this helps shift the focus from blame to problem-solving.
A Simple ADHD Reset after ADHD Mistakes
When an ADHD mistake happens, shifting from blame to support helps your brain recover faster.
1. Name the mistake without attacking yourself.
Try something like: That didn’t work the way I hoped. Next time I’ll handle it differently.
2. Focus on the next step.
Ask yourself: What’s the next useful action?
Schedule the lab appointment. Set a reminder. Capture the lesson.
3. Support your brain.
Low energy and frustration make everything harder. Sometimes the reset is simple:
- Eat something
- Take a short walk
- Switch briefly to an easier task
Capture the Learning from your ADHD Mistake
Every mistake gives useful information. For me, this one clarified a few things:
- Fasting until noon isn’t realistic for me
- Lab orders need to be confirmed ahead of time
- Avoiding one phone call created a huge inconvenience for my future self
That’s valuable data for designing a better system next time.
ADHD brains will always have moments like this. Learning how to reset after an ADHD mistake is one of the most powerful skills you can build. The goal isn’t eliminating every mistake. The goal is resetting faster and supporting your brain along the way. Check out the episode on my ADHD-Friendly YouTube channel here: YouTube.com/@ADHDFriendly
