I sometimes feel like Charlie Brown sitting in front of Lucy’s psychiatric booth. She starts asking him if he’s afraid of different things. One by one he says no. Then she asks, “Do you have omni-phobia?” He asks, “What’s that?” Lucy replies, “Fear of everything.” Charlie Brown yells, “THAT’S IT!”
So when I read an article about FOFO, Fear of Finding Out, I had a similar reaction. FOFO is the fear of discovering information you’d rather not know. A recent survey of 2,000 employed adults in the U.S. found that 3 out of 5 people avoid health screenings, often because they fear bad news or embarrassment. Apparently, doctors see this all the time.
Common reasons people avoid finding out:
- Fear of a scary test result
- Shame (for example, around sexual health or weight)
- Worry about treatments they don’t want
- Anxiety about lifestyle changes they don’t believe they can sustain
Through an ADHD lens, FOFO can feel even bigger. Because it’s not just: “What if something is wrong?”
It can also be:
- What if I have to change my eating habits?
- What if I have to exercise consistently?
- What if I need to manage something long-term?
- What if I can’t follow through?
And underneath it all is this sneaky thought: “If I don’t take the test… it’s not a thing.” That’s the NOW Brain talking. It feels safer in the moment not to know. But the NOT NOW Brain (aka future you) inherits the anxiety, the avoidance, and often a bigger problem.
And FOFO isn’t just about medical tests. ADHD brains experience FOFO in many areas.
Everyday FOFO Looks Like:
- Not opening the mail
- Avoiding looking at your bank balance
- Ignoring the credit card statement after the holidays
- Not checking email or your calendar
- Avoiding something you suspect you forgot
- Dodging a deadline that may have passed
- Not applying for the job
- Not asking someone out
- Not sending the pitch
- Not making the decision
Because what if:
- They don’t hire you?
- They don’t want to go?
- You overspent?
- You missed something important?
- You’re behind?
So we don’t look.
But not looking has a cost. Avoidance reduces anxiety temporarily… and increases it long-term.
6 Empowering Ways to Overcome FOFO When It Pops Up
1. Name It
Instead of “I’m procrastinating,” try: “Oh. This is FOFO.”
Naming it reduces shame and increases choice.
2. Run the Pros & Cons (Especially for Medical FOFO)
Ask:
- What’s the benefit of finding out?
- What’s the cost of continuing not to know?
Often, not knowing can quietly increase background stressors.
3. Ask Future-Focused Questions
- What could happen if I continue to avoid this?
- How will I feel in six months if nothing has changed?
Sometimes we avoid because it feels good now.
But we forget to factor in the compound interest of avoidance.
4. Use an If/Then Plan
“If it’s not better by ___, then I will ___.”
Or: “If the balance is higher than I hope, then I will schedule a money date.”
Make a small, pre-decided next step. And set a reminder.
5. Don’t Do It Alone
FOFO shrinks with company.
- Open mail with a body double.
- Check your bank balance during a scheduled accountability call.
- Bring a friend to the doctor.
- Draft the job application with someone nearby.
6. Lower the Entry Point
If asking someone out feels huge:
- Text instead of asking in person.
- Suggest coffee instead of dinner.
- Make it specific and low-pressure.
Make the first move smaller than your fear.
FOFO isn’t weakness. It’s your brain trying to protect you from discomfort. But growth lives on the other side of information.
So here’s the question: Where is FOFO quietly holding you back? And what’s one small way you could gently find out?
